it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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