There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize