apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize