I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
