Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
