Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
