Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
