I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
