last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
