Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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