I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
