so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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