I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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