this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Those nachos came to me in a dream
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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