I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
