I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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