you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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