Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
