in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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