So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my sisters under your porch take her home
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom