I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30