I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life