I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
