your thong is hanging out like whoa
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
