and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
