Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I look better un-naked...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
