I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
