My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
