my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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