I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
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We need a shit load of segways right now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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