If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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