i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
