$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize