She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
