At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my poor anus
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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