hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
