I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
