You can't special order awesome
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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