Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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