you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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