Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
