I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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