youre lurking in front of me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i barfeds in our rink
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
