You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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