I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
