I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
