I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize