Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
