i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
