you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
