out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
