We won't sleep together?
false alarm. still invincible.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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