Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
