I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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