big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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