How drunk are you??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.