just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
