I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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