3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
too bad you live with your parents still
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
