my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
