I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
