I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
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