Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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