There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
