I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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