You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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