Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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